Some thoughts on the Pope's death (a little late)

I'm about as unreligious as you can get. I am profoundly disturbed by many religious expressions I see - Jesus bumper stickers on gas-guzzling SUVs, our president's head bent in prayer for a single brain-dead woman, while his hands drip with the blood of Iraqi children. My most fundamental belief is that it is far more important to act according to religious principles, than to attend church and read the bible regularly. If attending church does not improve your attitude toward others in your life and others in the world, don't bother. How is it even possible that so many religious groups practice active exclusion, when the fundamental value of all religions is the giving of love to others?

That said, deep expressions of faith move me to tears. Tom and I went to Assisi on our honeymoon. We visited St. Francis's crypt. The air was thick with faith. The other visitors touched the stone, head bent and eyes closed, and their awe and desire seeped into my bones, hung deep in my lungs. This experience they were having is completely foreign to me. I am filled with both fascination and jealousy - I want to know what it feels like to to believe like that. I can get near it, smell it, breath it in, yet I cannot understand what this kind of faith really feels like.

I watched some of the Pope's funeral. Watching these millions of people celebrate mass (doesn't that sound wonderful, by the way? I would far rather "celebrate mass" than "attend services"), shed passionate tears for a man they had known only remotely, and who certainly had never known them, moved me in a similar way. I learned more about the Pope from the media coverage. I certainly don't agree with many of his conservative policies. But what a thing to have your death make such an impact globally. What an amazing thing to have touched, in some way, so many lives through only one life.

And then I think about the Pope himself, at the time of his death. How beautiful it seems to me to hold such absolute faith at the time of your death that you are passing through a doorway, making a transition to a better place and a new life in the afterlife. Again, this idea is so foreign to me. I cannot believe, as much as I would like, that we get another chance. As a result, death scares the bejesus out of me. I hope I am wrong and the Pope is right.


Peace to the Pope, Terry Scheivo, and all of the citizens of Iraq.