I have some questions

1. Exactly why did the previously delighful spa experience known as the diaper change become the most inhumane torture? And how long does this phase last? I should videotape this and show it to you whenever I want to make you feel guilty for the rest of your life.

2. When, oh when, does the spit up stop? Frankly, dearest babe, I am tired of it. Tired of running for a wipe, tired of changing my clothes and yours three times a day. If I never had to smell sour milk again it would be too soon, know what I mean?

3. At what point do you become aware that rasberrying your food makes it rather difficult to ease your hunger? It is not okay for your diet to consist solely of Cheerios.