If someone wanted me to take a nap I think my answer would be "okay."

Munch is a wonderful child. As far as irrational, temperamental infants go, he's a dream. A happy, playful, baby, who enjoys playing by himself for extended periods of time. A parent's dream. Except when it comes to nap time.

The Munch will be eight months old on Wednesday. That means we have had almost eight months to perfect the art of getting him to sleep. Other parents tell us of their babies, who rub their eyes, coo a little, and knock out as soon as they hit the crib mattress. Please tell me they are lying. Please tell me that they, too, must listen to their child scream as if they have been abandoned to wild boars every time they put them in the crib. My understanding was that this crying was a temporary thing - that they learn to quiet themselves peacefully, and relax into a peaceful slumber after a day or two of this crying business.

Eight months, and he cries every time. Yes, we have a routine. Yes, we try relaxing baths. But if he decides that he is not ready to go down (always), there will be screaming. Frankly, I am tired of this particular challenge. I'm reading for something new - genital groping in public, food smearing in the hair, Operation Draino - Open, I'll take it. Just stop the sleep battles already! Going through the screaming routine four times a day is getting old.

Babies are brilliantly designed. They emerge from the womb knowing to look for the nipple and suckle. They can grasp things with their little hands right off the bat. Babies stare at faces, bonding themselves to the adults around them and thus ensuring their survival. And yet, AND YET they don't know how to let themselves fall asleep. Seems like a pretty obvious omission.